Dispatches from the wilds of Poetania – An ode to twelve ex-girlfriends (who may or may not exist) (Unfinished)

I loved you once,
But you got, like, super into Stephanie Meyer,
And I started eating garlic.

I loved you once,
But you actually tried to assert that the Stones were better than the Beatles,
And I stopped listening.

I loved you once,
But one day, for lack of an alternative, I borrowed my brother’s Lynx Axe bodyspray, and you told me I smelt sexier than any man you’d ever known,
And I went home, and cried in the shower, scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, but the shame just wouldn’t come off.

I loved you once,
But you told me you hated Vegemite,
and I hoisted my Southern Cross underpants and left.

I loved you once,
But you read this poem, and said “Fuck, what’s wrong with you? You’re worse than Seinfeld.”
And I knew then that you would never love me as much as my box-sets.

I loved you once,
But physical media is obsolete.

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Published in: on July 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm  Leave a Comment  
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