Multi-touch is great.
I don’t remember what life was like
before mobile Internet,
and the compass is surprisingly useful.
They keep telling me that geolocation is the next big thing,
So thanks for the GPS, I guess.
It’s nice, having a camera built in,
and playing music; yes… just yes.
But when are you going to release the model
that comes with that girl’s number pre-loaded?
And knows exactly when I should call?
With the integrated digital compass
that gives direction to my life?
With the noise-cancelling microphone
that corrects my pronunciation?
With the autosuggesting dictionary
that loads my every message with pith and wit?
With the enhanced call quality
that makes my conversations more interesting?
With the Facebook-syncing address-book,
that knows who I want to talk to?
With the superior nationwide coverage
that drops the calls I don’t want to answer?
That only ever receives good news?