(Wherein bohemian artistes and comedians conspire to corrupt and amuse our intrepid hero)
My first day in New York was what one might describe as reasonably eventful. Having misjudged the length of the flight from Seattle, because I forgot to take time zones into account, meant that I only actually got four hours sleep. The result: upon arrival at the apartment, I sat down to take off my socks for a shower, and woke up four hours later. Thence I went to the bank to extract the funds for accommodation, which had to be paid up front and in cash. The result? Big wad of cash. Thence I wandered a bit, going to Gray’s Papaya for their “world famous” hot dogs (not bad, though I think I’d skip the sauerkraut next time) before meandering up to Central Park, where, with a handy copy of Time Out magazine, I finally settled upon going to see Rent the musical, on Broadway. An hour and a half later I was in the theatre, 9 th row centre, once again taking photos of things you’re not supposed to take photos of, for your benefit, dear readers. The show was, of course, awesome, and Patrick was right, it does show up La Boheme for the petty piece of plagiarism that it is. Then I walked up to Times Square, where I was unable to find any of this mysterious “square time” (though not for wont of looking). I visited the Virgin Megastore, which I suppose was somewhat mega, but let’s not go crazy here, before stopping at TGI Friday’s for some dinner. There I supped upon stuffed potato skins, which are potato skins filled with melted cheese and bacon, and which most certainly reduced my lifespan, and washed it down with cherry limeade, which I am almost certain was in fact, just a glass full of pink sherbet. Then I went to the HA! Comedy Club, a little underground affair just of Times Square, where no less than 5 of the comedians made some joke about the whacky bearded Australian sitting up the front (with at least two making some reference to the Amish). After this, I went with some of the comics to the adjoining Karaoke bar, where, unable to find Land Down Under on the system, I wowed them all with my magnificent rendition of Hold The Line, by none other than the magnificent Toto, of course. Finally, Karaoke wrapping up at about 3am, I made my way back to the apartment, on the way noting that whilst the city may not necessarily sleep, at 3am it definitely takes a nap.